Scenario: A PFC is walking down the road to a porta potty and is confronted with a 10-year old boy in enemy territory pointing a gun at him.
1. The soldier will request permission to fire from his platoon sergeant.
2. The platoon sergeant will ask the platoon leader.
3. The platoon leader will ask the company commander. The CO will
call the battalion commander and ask for permission to fire.
4. The Bn Cdr will call the Bde Cdr to get permission to fire.
5. The Bde Cdr will call division and speak to a person in the G3
6. The G3 personnel will immediately start working on a slide
presentation in powerpoint to present to the Commanding General
on his options.
7. The slides will first be briefed to the Chief of Staff and
will be sent back for revisions.
8. After 90 different versions have been completed, the Chief of
Staff will finally approve the slides.
9. The CG will be presented slide presentation and will call
Corps to ask the corps commander for permission to fire.
10. The G3 staff will fax a copy of the presentation to the corps
G3 who will in turn ask for a copy to be sent by courier because
the first copy got sent to the wrong fax number.
11. The poor captain who sent the fax to corps will be given a bad
OER because he should have known that the fax number given to
him by a colonel at corps was the wrong number.
12. Corps G3 finally receives the slide presentation and has his
staff work on a corps presentation to give to the corps commander.
13. The corps commander is briefed, accepts his staffs proposal
that the soldier should fire back, but has to call the Army
commander to get permission.
14. The Army commander asks the corps commander to fax him all the
information he has on the incident and he will get back to him.
15. The Army commander never receives the information.
16. Division is notified that the information did not reach Army so
that poor captain with the bad OER is ordered to fax a copy of
the slides to Army, the Pentagon, and the White House.
17. The Army commander finally receives the slides and says he will
have to call the Army group commander for permission to fire.
18. The Army Group commander listens to the Army commander then
tells him that he will have to call the Pentagon to get permission
19. The Army Group Commander calls the Pentagon and speaks with the
Chairman of the Joint Chiefs. The Chairman wants to know why some
know-nothing captain from a division in theater is faxing a 200 page
slide presentation to him and the president.
20. The Army Group commander tells the Chairman he will find out.
21. The Army Group commander calls the Army commander and asks why
Captain Know-Nothing is faxing slides to the Pentagon and the White
22. The Army commander calls the corps commander and asks the same
23. The corps commander gets personally involved and calls directly
to the division's G3 shop and asks to speak to CPT Know-Nothing.
24. CPT Know-Nothing is given another bad OER and is reassigned to
sewage control in a prisoner of war camp.
25. The Army group commander informs the Chairman that the problem
is taken care of.
26. The Chairman tells the Army Group commander that he will get
back to him after he holds a meeting with all of the service
27. During the meeting, the Air Force and Navy Chiefs decide they
want a part in this decision now code-named "Operation Return
28. The Chairman agrees to allow the Air Force to send two tactical
fighter wings and 10 B-52s from Diego Garcia. The Chairman allows
the Navy to send in 5 carrier battle groups and 3 Marine
divisions. On top of all of this, the Chairman tells the
service chiefs that the Army will send in two more corps, five
brigades of Artillery and an armored cavalry regiment. Furthermore
he will ask the Secretary of defense if 500,000 Reservist and
National Guardsmen can be called up.
29. The Chairman takes all of these proposals to the Secretary of
Defense who agrees and tells the Chairman to prepare a briefing
for the President.
30. A colonel stays up for a week straight preparing briefing
slides and charts for the President's briefing.
31. The day of the briefing, the light bulb burns out in the White
House's projector and the colonel who worked his butt off to set up
this briefing loses the command he was going to take over this
summer and is forced to retire because he should have known that
the light bulb would burn out.
32. Eventually a lieutenant colonel locates a light bulb and he is
promoted to colonel and is offered a command this summer that
suddenly becomes open.
33. The president approves Operation Return Fire, but first he
wants to get "eyes on the target"
34. Navy Seal Team 6 is dispatched to the area. Upon reaching the
location where the soldier reported the contact, they find the
decomposed body of a dead American PFC, still clutching a hand mike
to his ear, looking as if he is waiting for a response to
whatever question he asked.
E-mail me if you have any any more terms!