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THE ARMY ORGANIZATIONAny organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels. Some monkeys are climbing up, some down. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.
THE FIVE MOST DANGEROUS THINGS IN THE ARMY:A Private saying, "I learned this in boot camp...." A Sergeant saying, "Trust me, sir..." A Second Lieutenant saying, "Based on my experience..." A Captain saying, "I was just thinking..." and a Warrant Officer chuckling, "Watch this shit..."
THE ORIGIN OF OFFICER RANK AND INSIGNIA2LT/ENSIGN - Relatively soft, easily shaped, and often hammered upon, the gold ingot is the perfect symbol of the Second Lieutenant's rank and station. 1LT/LT (jg) - Somewhat harder, holds it shape better, and needs less hammering, the bar of silver is well-suited to represent the rank of the First Lieutenant. CPT/LT - Worth 2 lieutenants, the Captain's insignia of rank reflects his worth and is configured to resemble a railroad track, giving him the impression that he drives the train. COL/CAPT - An eagle of silver, the Colonel's rank reflects both his lofty station and his ability to see and know all that goes on beneath him. GEN/ADM - The General's rank is symbolized by stars, for they are higher than all, give light to all, and are out of reach. MAJ/LTC/LtCDR/CDR- Ever since the dawn of time, men have used leaves to cover their dicks.
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