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- ... the Mi-24 Hind refuels at your FARP.
- ... you throw your hands up in frustration and the Q-36 directs fire on you.
- ... you find a CLF team in your breakfast chow line.
- ... the O/Cs ask exactly how long you've been in the National Guard.
- ... you finish your Operation Order briefing and the TOC O/C says, "No, really, what's your plan?"
- ... your highest kill-ratio statistic is your fratricide total.
- ... your S-3 finishes the Operation Order briefing with, "This worked great in JANUS!"
- ... the resupply helicopter brings in a slingload of body bags.
- ... your Civil Affairs team is taken hostage by the citizens of Shughart-Gordon.
- ... the Cortinian Care Crusade changes its name to the Cortina Mortuary Service.
- ... you find a CLF team serving breakfast in your chow line.
- ... your Take-Home Package is classified as an "X-File."
- ... the O/Cs call Fort Benning to check if you've ever actually attended any courses there.
- ... the only thing making whoopie is the little yellow light on your HMMWV.
- ... the CLF team comes to your command post to complain about the quality of chow you've been serving since the beginning of the rotation.
- ... you receive Change Of Mission at the ISB.
- ... you can't hear your command net radio because the O/Cs are laughing so hard.
- ... your S-3 finishes the Operation Order briefing with, "This worked great on the G.I. Joe cartoon!"
- ... Fire Marker vehicles show up in convoy with your LOGPAC.
- ... the mayor of Carnis puts a bounty out on your head.
- ... your Battalion Maintenance Tech gets stuck in his sleeping bag and has to be cut out.
- ... your S-2 has to go to the North Fort Barber for help completing the SITEMP.
- ... your company commanders are using your burning attack helicopters as checkpoints for maneuver.
- ... the COG puts his arm around your shoulder and offers you a Lifesaver before going into the AAR.
- ... the S-2 and S-3 laser pointers for the AAR are powered by Honda generators.
- ... you receive a FRAGO from higher headquarters that says, "Run away! Save yourselves!"
- ... you ask your Scout Platoon Leader exactly how many enemy PDRA vehicles are coming toward your position and he says, "All of them."
- ... your PSYOPS surrender appeals work-your BSA surrenders.
- ... the official song of your rotation is "Taps."
- ... it's just easier to hold the next Operation Order briefing in the PEHA.
- ... they take away your square on the War Memorial.
- ... your ADA section up at Live Fire shoots down an entire flock of Red Cockaded Woodpeckers.
- ... your S-3 finishes the Operation Order briefing with, "This is so crazy it just might work!"
- ... the most used weapon in your company area is your O/C's God Gun.
- ... the Govenor blows off your ACC meeting.
- ... the O/Cs ask the EAD hospital if they'd like a shot at seizing Shughart-Gordon.
- ... you find World News Network reporters in your fighting positions, correcting your range cards.
- ... the CLF captures your Admin/Log radio to resubmit your LOGSTAT report and order some new chow.
- ... your Fire Support Officer briefs that for airspace coordination the unit will use the "Big Sky, Little Bullet" method.
- ... you see your unit on "Cortina's Most Wanted."
- ... your Task Force Engineer gets trapped in the concertina wire around the TOC.
- ... the O/Cs officially change their motto to "Coach...Teach...Mentor...Beat Some Sense Into."
E-mail me if you have any any more items!
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